How Do You Get Over A Relationship BreakUp?

Breakups are the worst!
By: Cherelle Lim
January 19, 2022

Everyone has had a bad experience with a relationship somewhere down the lines. We’ve all either been broken up with, or broke up with someone. Whether you initiated the breakup or not, it can sometimes be difficult to get over the relationship. Since there could be lingering feelings or regret coming out from the relationship breakup. You could have lost a friend and a partner due to it and that could be difficult to accept for some. So, it takes time for you to heal and get over a relationship breakup. 

In films, we’ve seen almost every version of how a breakup could end. The main character bawling their eyes out for days, filling the void with rage, or even isolating themselves for days on end. Sometimes, these methods aren’t really healthy to do. So, if you are having a hard time trying to get over your recent breakup, here are a few tips Beauty Insider recommends to help.

How To Get Over Your Breakup

1. Rediscover Old Interests

To distract yourself from a relationship breakup, the best thing you can do is to rediscover old interests. What did you love to do? What were your hobbies and favourite pastimes? Rediscover passions that you’ve neglected when you got into a relationship. Rediscovering yourself allows you to reestablish your own identity. Getting back to your passions is also a much more effective coping mechanism when it comes to getting over a breakup. Since it is already part of you, you just need to rediscover your love for it!

2. Eliminate Triggers

Another effective way to get over a bad relationship is to eliminate any and all triggers. Regular reminders of your ex can trigger unwanted wounds and emotions to surface. It is as simple as getting rid of clothing, jewellery or photos that remind you of your ex. Switching up habits and routines you used to do together is also a great way to start. If you used to go to the park together, visit a different park. 

3. Let Off Steam

Although you should never resort to violence to act on your emotions, sometimes there are healthy ways to release all that pent up rage. For example, you can visit a Rage Room KL! This is the safest and most fun place to release your anger. It allows you to be violent, without actually hurting anyone – including yourself. The best time to get it all out is right at the start. When you are still feeling all the emotions of the breakup and need to explode. The faster you experience and move through your emotions of feeling angry, hurt or sad, the quicker you’ll be able to heal from this relationship. 

4. Cut Ties

If it was a bad breakup, we know that there is no chance of you and your ex ever meeting up for lunch again. But, if you and your former flame did in fact have the same friend group, that may be harder to cut ties. For one, you could choose to not hang out with those that are still friends with your ex. But, if there is a certainty that both of you will never meet again, it will definitely help with getting over the breakup. If the thought of talking to your ex ever comes up, Block. It. Out. 

5. Unfollow

credits to – pinterest

This is the simplest and easiest way to get over a breakup. It is how to get over a relationship breakup 101. No matter who ended it, just unfollow each other. This way, you won’t accidentally swipe onto their feed or worse, accidentally like one of their older pictures! Stalking your ex is not the way to go to overcome your bad relationship breakup. It might even make you more distressed and halt you from moving on. 

6. Social Media Detox

If you can’t help but search up their page once in a while, the next best thing you can do is to go on a social media detox. Taking a break from social media can help speed up the process of moving on from your ex. It is way less tempting to scroll onto your ex’s feed when you don’t even have Instagram on your phone. 

7. Stop Checking Up On Your Ex

Besides stalking your ex on social media, you also have to stop asking your friends about how your ex is doing! If your friends aren’t getting the memo, let them know that you want absolutely nothing to do with your ex. No mentioning them, talking about them or even reminding you of them. It may be hard to resist, but your good friends will even tell you off when YOU ask about your ex. 

8. Get Off Your Ex’s Netflix Account

In this digital age, we’ve gotten accustomed to ‘Netflix and Chill’. So once you break up with someone, you need to stop sharing Netflix accounts! Any streaming services you and your former partner have been sharing, it is time to return them to their rightful owners. You do not need to know what they’re watching. It is also kind of weird if you are still sharing an account. 

9. Revamp Your Space

breakup

The one good thing that comes out of any breakup is that it motivates you to change. So, roll the makeover sequence! Revamp your space, style or even look. Step into your room and move everything around. Add new memories and trinkets that make you feel good instead of reminding you of hurtful memories. Not satisfied with your current style? Purge your closet and start building your dream wardrobe. To take it one step further, you can even change up your hair and makeup! Take a trip to the salon and get that bold colour you’ve been dying to try. A new you could mean a happier you too. 

10. Red Flags In The Relationship

Another tip to getting over a codependent relationship, especially a toxic one is to list out all the red flags you’ve ignored. Recount all the instances you felt bad in the relationship or had an argument and list down every red flag. Since you are no longer “in love”, it can be easier to spot those blinding red flags too. In doing so, it can help you realise that you are better off without them. You might have dodged a bullet and can use this information to become more self-aware. The next time you see those similar red flags, you’ll know right away. 

11. Therapy

If you are feeling extremely down or sad whilst going through a breakup, it might help to seek therapy. Therapy can be helpful for those that have been hurt the same way before. If your previous partner cheated on you, it can also be traumatic for some. Seeking help from a therapist can really help you move forward and understand that it wasn’t your fault. 

12. Stop Blaming Yourself 

breakup

When overcoming a relationship breakup, you also need to become mature about it. You need to stop blaming yourself or your partner completely. Rewrite the story and start thinking in “we” terms. Understand that it takes two for a relationship to work, and sometimes it takes two to tear it apart as well. In doing so, it can help reduce emotional baggage and help with coping. 

13. Turn What You Don’t Have Into What You Can Achieve

breakup

Instead of focusing on what you lost from the relationship, focus on what you’ve gained. Think about everything you can achieve now, that you couldn’t while in a relationship. What was the relationship holding you back from? Focus on what you can do now that you are free. Hang out more often with your friends, or go on that road trip you’ve been putting off! What’s more, is that you can even start journaling about everything you missed out on during your relationship. Start a checklist even to cross activities off your bucket list!

14. Write A Letter To Your Ex – But Don’t Send It

breakup

Don’t worry, unless you have a sister who likes mailing out your private letters to your ex, you are safe. Writing down how you feel and how the breakup affected you can somehow bring closure if you will. This method of dealing with a breakup is in no intention to get the other back. It is simply coming to terms with the situation and getting closure from it. It can even be therapeutic for some. In other words, some may even find it helpful to burn these letters after writing them. As a symbol of letting go of the past. 

15. Enlist Your Fan Club

breakup

After going through a horrible breakup, the best way to help is to seek comfort in the people you love and who love you back. For example, your best friends, your mother, sister or even brother. These are the people who will always root for you and support you. Ranting to them may just help you relieve some pent up emotions. What’s more, is that they will usually do everything in their power to make you feel better!